Since I started writing seriously I’ve been keeping a journal of interesting physical sensations and unusual experiences. It’s usually things like freezing my face off in -40° weather and what it feels like to defrost afterwards, or the incredibly specific pain of a pinched nerve. However, the other day I recorded one hell of an experience: a full on hypnopompic hallucination.
It started when terrible sound filled my dream, a voice yelling “PAT PAT PAT PAT…” It was Dalek-like, like a man yelling into a voice modulator. The sound confused me more than anything, until I saw an old-fashioned hunting party ride through my backyard carrying bazookas on their shoulders. The image was silly enough to make me realize it was a dream and wake myself up. But the sound didn’t stop.
I pinned the sound on my boyfriend. He wasn’t so much snoring as making little puffs of air, but my brain converted it into the reverberating shout:
({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)}) ({(PAT)})
It was creepy and terrifying, more-so because it accompanied visual hallucinations.
A grid, a dotted line of tiny shimmering spots, filled my entire visual field. In each grid-square a kaleidoscopic circle throbbed with colorful patterns. There were at least a hundred of these blobs, each one filled with a different, shifting non-Euclidian pattern. It took me a whole day to remember the specific word for them: Poincaré disks, a form of hyperbolic geometry. How my brain came up with not just one, but hundreds of them, will probably remain a mystery to the end of my days. Such a neural event is weird in the Cosmic sense, or at least feels that way.
I’ve never hallucinated quite like that – not even on bad meds. My only guess was migraine aura, though mine have always been strictly auditory and not visual. In any case, I got up and chugged a glass of water to make sure my brain was hydrated, hoping a headache wouldn’t come crashing down on me. I was lucky, and managed to fall back asleep pain-free. Before I did, as I curled under the covers and closed my eyes, the visual aura had calmed to something slightly less trippy. The grid tightened, becoming a diaphanous net of luminous undulating lines. The Poincaré disks had disappeared, though the net itself had a rather hyperbolic form.
Freaked out as I was, the writer part of me was going, “Yesss, fresh material for the novel!” Because of course my protagonist lives in a more-or-less constant state of altered consciousness. You may be surprised to learn that I’ve never done psychotropic drugs – but mostly because my brain is strange enough without them. Sometimes it’s even too strange for me.
by
Aw, man. My new meds give me the oddest, most vivid dreams, too…
That was me being (sort-of) awake though, what with the hallucination mildly carrying on as I got up and chugged a pint of cold water. That and I’m not on much in the way of meds at the moment. You might say I was “Duranning” 😉